Paraprosdokians
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Wow! What a word? What does it mean? Paraprosdokians are figures of speech that have been twisted both to obtain a new meaning and a good laugh. People who play with them are called ‘wits.’
How many times have you heard, “Not my fault. I didn’t do it?” Now I’m going to doctor the statement. “I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.”
Did I write the above, no. I collect these gems and file them away to drag them out for entertainment. My creed is, “To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.” I stand behind my research though I have edited to avoid current standards.
“I used to be indecisive, but now I’m not sure” or to illustrate, “You’re never too old to learn something stupid.”
This one applies to all the former daredevils in the world including a sister. “You don’t need a parachute to skydive. You need a parachute to do it twice.”
Remember, “Where there is a will, there is a way?” This twist requires less work, “Where there is a will, I want to be in it.”
“Knowledge, is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”
“To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.”
“Light travels faster than sound this is why some people appear bright until they open their mouth.”
“War does not determine who is right, only who is left.”
“We never really grow up — we only learn how to act in public.”
“Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.”
“If I agree with you, we’d both be wrong.”
To close this out, “ I was reared to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find someone older than me.”
Don’t you love our language? Have a good day.
